The Honeymoon Trip from Hell
Robert and Anna are trying to go on their honeymoon but discover their travel arrangements are a mess.  Since the travel agent below is speaking some French (in a rather bad accent), the Scorpios appear to have arrived in France and are trying to get to their final destination, St. Tropez.

Travel agent (punching away on his computer): "Scorpio.... Scorpio..."

Robert: "Yeah, the reservations were made by a Ms. Carter."

Anna: "Who's Ms. Carter?"

Robert: "A travel agent in Port Charles."

Anna (lightly reprimanding him): "Don't you think you should have confirmed the reservations yourself."

Robert (smiling that she understands): "Well, some people don't always understand the mystical beauty of the aboriginal people."

Travel agent (Interrrupting): "Pardon, monsieur, but there doesn't seem to be a Scorpio."

Robert (getting annoyed): "C'mon, look, it's uh.. delux accommodations compartment on the overnight for San Tropez.  I know they're there, I know they're there."

Travel agent: "Let me check again." (he punches on the computer again)  "There seems to be a little problem, monsieur."  

Robert (now really mad): "You're damn right there's a ....."  (Anna gives her hubby a sharp look.  Robert clears his throat and lowers his voice)  ".... there's a problem."

Travel Agent: "There are no reservations in that name."

Robert: "I'm gonna kill her."

Anna (laughs): "Who are you gonna kill?" 

Robert: "Ms. Carter."

Anna: "Oh, Robert, please.  Why don't we just stay overnight here?"

Robert: "No, no, no.  Look, it's all planned.  We've got to make that train."  (to the Travel guy)  "Okay, please?  Give it one more shot."

Travel Agent: "If you insist, monsieur."  (he punches on the computer again)   "No, no tickets.  I'm sorry, monsieur."

Robert (his voice starting to raise again): "You're sorry?!  I just don't believe, I just don't believe... "

Anna (getting embarrassed): "Shh... Robert, we're on our honeymoon.  Be nice."

Robert (gritting his teeth): "Alright.  I'll be nice...."

Scene fades away for commercial.  Returns later to show them seated in the dining cart of a train, toasting their luck at getting seats on the train.

Anna: "To love and marriage."  (she takes a sip)

Robert: "To you.  You gorgeous, irressible creature." (he kisses her hand)   "Well, we made it."

Anna: "We did.  Lucky you got a hold of Ms. Carter."

Robert: "Lucky still that conductor had a couple tickets."

Anna:  "Yeah.  You know, we could have taken the bullet train all the way to San Tropez, we would have been there by now."

Robert (leans close): "Hey, hey, what's the rush?  I want to do things at a nice normal pace, in a normal way... " (she snuggles up against him)  "in a nice normal train, in a private compartment... with my WIFE."  (she smiles at him at his emphasis on the word wife.)

Anna (to the air): "That's me."

Robert: "That's you, that's you."  (They toast again)

Anna: "We had a really great wedding."

Robert: "Yeah."

Anna: "Well... apart from a couple little hitches, it was a really great, big wedding."

Robert: "Um.  Who'd ever thought Faison would turn up?"

Anna (quietly): "I didn't think he would."

Robert (referring to the fact Remondo was supposed to have killed Faison in 1990): "Only goes to show you what happens when you let other people do your dirty work." 

Anna (gets quiet, lost in thought, then changes the subject): "What was all that stuff with Dominique?" 

Robert: "Right now, I don't care."  (he slips his arm through hers and leans closer)  "I've got other things on my mind."  

(The waiter interrupts with two silver covered food plates)  Waiter: "Monsieur, Madam."  (The Scorpios say "Merci", the Waiter replies, "Bon Appetit."  He starts singing as he leaves, making the Scorpios laugh.)

Robert: "Happy little fellow, isn't he?" 

Anna: "He's singing about love."  (she stabs at her food.  Robert looks at his food, then stares at her)  "You not eating?"

Robert: "I'm really not all that hungry."

Anna: "What's the matter?"  (she looks down at her food again)

Robert: "Nothing's the matter.  I want to be alone with my wife..." (He looks at her.  She smiles, still looking down) ".. I'm getting all weepy about it."  (still staring and smiling at her)

Anna (letting out a sigh): "Guess I'm not hungry either.  Why don't you find the conductor and ask him about our compartment?"

Robert: "Good idea."

Passenger (being nosy): "Excuse me, did I hear you say compartment?"

Anna: "Yes, that's right, why?"

Passenger: "You have a compartment on this train?"

Robert (confused): "Yes, I was lucky enough to get to the conductor and um, get a compartment."

Passenger (laughs): "Lucky?  Enjoy your compartment, I'm sure you will."   (He leaves, and Robert and Anna stare at one another confused) 

Scene Fades Out, and later returns to show the Scorpio dressed in their jammies walking down a crowded aisle looking for their compartment.  Unfortunately they discover the compartments are actually bunkbed-type bungalows with no privacy with his one side of the aisle and hers on the other side.  They can't talk the lady below Anna's compartment into letting switching with them, and after a disasterous attempt of trying to snuggle up in Anna's - before which Robert ends up falling down and accidently causing the train to screech to a halt by pulling the brake wire- they duo give up trying to sleep together that night.   The next day, they arrive at a slimy hotel in St. Tropez and are shown to their room.  Looking around in disgust,  Robert drops the suitcases in ashtonishment.

Anna (faking a smile): "I think it's very romantic."

Robert: "There's gotta be some kind of mistake.  I mean, I have a surprise, this isn't it."  (he smiles apologetically at his wife)

Hotel man: "Here is le key."  (He puts the key down on a table).

Robert: "I don't want le key, I want le way out of here."  (the hotel man leaves ignoring Robert's protests)  "I didn't... "  (He and Anna smile at each other weakly.  Anna goes over to the french door and tries to peak through the blinds, which fly up at her touch, causing her to jump back in surprise.  The couple again exchange uphappy looks.)

Anna (remarking about the bricked in wall that is suppose to be the view): "Nice view."

Scene Fades Out, and later returns to show Robert on the phone.

Robert: "Right, the second you get a hold of her, you tell her to call me.  Yes, it's an emergency, goodbye."  (he hangs up the phone and sees Anna struggling to open the french doors.)  "Let me help you there, luv."  (he runs over and pulls on the doors while a tire Anna moves out of his way.)  "Hot, isn't it?"  (the two finally push the doors open, breathing hard.) 

Anna: "So, tell me about this surprise you've got planned?'

Robert (panting): "Tomorrow, tomorrowing morning.  The surprise will be revealed to you tomorrow morning.  In the meantime, maybe I should have a shower."

Anna: "No, no, no.  Remember what mister Le Foy said?  The shower... "

Robert (finishing her sentence): "... shower is broken."

Anna (laughs in exasperation): "Oh god..."

Robert (equally exasperated): "I fail to see the humor in this, Anna!"

Anna: "Oh this is so ridiculous!  We just got off the train from hell, got unceremoniously dumped outside of this hotel, they have no shower, peeling paper, and no room service.  I mean, we said for better or worse, but how much worse does it get?"  (They then hear their neighbors having an arguement in french)

Robert: "Does that answer your question?"  (They laugh and listen to the arguing couple)  "Whatever happened to love..."  (he's interrupted by loud thumps)  "what..."  (he's interrupted by a loud crash, and Anna's cracking up by now)  "... whatever happened to the country of romance and lovers and stuff like that there?"

(Anna stops laughing and gives him a seductive look.  Walking up to him, she grabs Robert by the top of his tie, and starts to pull him toward the bed)  Anna: "Well, we can do something about that."

Robert (stops her): "No, no, no, no.... no, uh uh... no...."

Anna (surprised): "No?"  (then says in french)  "You don't want me?" 

Robert (coming closer): "Of course I want you.  This may come as a surprise, but I had allocated a considerable period of time to have sex on this honeymoon." 

Anna (undoing his tie, smiles): "Okay, let's start now then."

Robert: "No, not here.  I've got a surprise all worked out.  And it's not this.... (pointing to the room)."

Anna: "Surprise me!"  (she pulls him toward the bed again, walking backwards.) 

Robert (grabs her and pulls at her clothes): "Oh, I love it when you get this close... It's been such a long time, I don't know if I'll remember what to do."  (he sits on the bed and she sits in his lap facing away from him.  She lifts her hair so he can unzip her dress)

Anna: "Yes, you will."

Robert: "Okay, okay."  (he slowly unzips her dress)

Anna (getting slighly impatient): "Unzip it."

Robert (unzips her dress): "Ooh, you've got those colored undies... oh... the ones with the zeros [not sure what the last word is?]"  (they laugh and fall backwards onto the bed, which proceeds to break.  Furious, he tosses her off him and to the side, and jumps up.)   

Robert: "That's it!  Enough, everybody out of the pool!  We're checking out of here right now!"  (he rushes out of the room, leaving his stunned bride sitting on the bed)

Scene Fades Out, and returns to show Robert leading a blindfolded Anna into another hotel room. 

Robert (to Anna, who's blindfolded with his tie): "And watch your step, here we go, right here.   Stand right here, just like that, don't move....."  (he kisses his finger and places it against her lips.  He then thanks the hotel guy and tips him as he leaves.)

Anna (afraid of what the surprise will be): "I hope this is worth it, Robert."  (He smiles and undoes her blindfold, watching her face as she looks around in shock)   "I know where this is."  (she quickly realizes it's the same hotel room they spent their first honeymoon at 14 years ago when they were first married)

Robert: "Where it all started."

Anna: "It is, isn't it?"

Robert (still watching her intensely): "Um hmmm.  Um,...." 

Anna: "Oh, you're so romantic."

Robert: "Is that a yes?"

Anna: "What do you mean, yes?"  (she throws her arms around his neck)   "Oh, Robert...." (she kisses him, stroking the back of his hair)   "...oh, it's so lovely."

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