Sean and Robert Under the Gun
While setting bombs along the rocky coast, Sean and Robert are captured and taken prisoner on Biscayne Island. They discover Eric Ingstrom's alive but are waiting on Anna to rescue them. She has to diffuse one of the bombs they set or else they all go up in a big poof!

Robert (Looking at the bullet holes in the wall): "Whoa, terrible termite problem you got down here."

Sean: "You ever face a firing squad?"

Robert: "Yeah, with you."

Sean: "Just like old times." (The guard begins to tie Sean's hands behind his back.)

Robert: "Say, we're gonna look back at this one day and laugh."

Sean: "I don't think these guys are too interested in leaving us with fond memories."

Robert: "Maybe pleasant dreams."

Sean: "Yeah." (The guard tightenes the ropes on Sean's hands.) "Okay... okay..."

(The guard then begins tying Robert's hands behind his back.) Robert: "What do you think I'm gonna do, grab the bullet and throw it back at you?"

Sean: "Please don't make him mad, huh?"

Robert: "So what's he gonna do, shoot me?"

Sean: "No, he might miss you and hit me."

Robert: "You're saving yourself for the firing squad?"

Sean: "Yeah, I am." (The firing squad shuffles into the room.) "Speak of the devil."

Robert: "Alright, now we're outnumbered. I'm angry, I ain't got my gun on me."

Sean: Where was that other firing squad we faced, anyway?"

Robert: "Africa."

Sean: I take it we survived?"

Robert: "Well, you did, but I didn't make it."

Sean: That's too bad, I always thought you were a decent sort."

Robert (referring to their African escapade): "You don't remember how we escaped ?"

Sean: "Yeah, I remember. You snuck in beforehand and loaded their guns with blanks, right?"

Robert (reflecting): "All but one. I still can't figure out how I missed that one."

Sean (remembering): "Oh yeah! I remember that, I still have the scar to prove it"  (He looks pointedly at Robert). 

Robert: "Picky, picky."

Sean: "Those guys didn't give us blindfolds either."

Robert: "They just don't make firing squads like they use to."

Sean: "Yeah." (The firing squad ready their weapons.) "I think they're serious."

Robert: "Hey, what about some blindfolds here? You can't just shoot two unarmed men and look them straight in the eye. (The squad aims their guns at them anyway.)

Sean: I don't believe they know the rules.

Robert: "What's Spanish for blindfold?"

Sean: I don't know."

Robert: "Well, make up something."

Sean (racking his brain): Okay, let's see...it's 'ciego' for blind. Fold? Uh... 'panuel ciego.'"

Robert: "Hey, you're doing well, good."

Sean: "Por favor Senor, panuel ciego." (Firing squad pulls their guns back.)

Robert: "It took you long enough, what'd you ask for, blindfolds?"

Sean: "Not exactly."

Robert: "What did you say?"

Sean: "Hankerchief, I think."

Robert: "Terrific, the guy thinks you've got a cold."

(Guard approaches them and asks something in Spanish.) Sean: "He wants to know what we want."

Robert (sarcastically): "To get the hell outta here."

Sean: "I really can't ask him for that."

Robert: "Well, stall him anyway."

Sean: "Well, how am I gonna do that?"

Robert: "I don't know, say something in Spanish, say... tell him... tell him, um... in American prisons that you're granted one final wish."

(Sean says something in broken Spanish. The guard answers back.) Sean: "He wants to know what we wish."

Robert: "Whatever buys us the most time."

Sean: "Alright, how about a final meal?"

Robert: "Do you really want to eat that slop?"

Sean: "Well, maybe a little female companionship?"

Robert: "We're about as lucky to get that as we are to be freed on good behavior."

Sean: "Alright, a cigarette then?"

Robert: "Hey, good, give it a shot."

Sean: "Dos cigarillos, por favor?" (The guard sends one of the men off for cigarettes. When he returns, the guard gives one to each of them, and lights the cigarettes.)

Robert (choking from the cigarette, which is difficult to handle when one's hands are tied behind one's back): "This is more like it."

Sean: Yeah, when did you start smoking?"

Robert: "Just now."

Sean: "Did you know this is bad for your health?"

Robert: "Anybody ever tell you a crisis brings out the worst in you?"

Sean: "Yeah, you did."

Robert: "How long is a cigarette supposed to last, anyway?"

Sean: "Five minutes, give or take a puff."

Robert: "Make it six, and we've got a chance, alright?"

Sean: "Okay, smoke slow."

The scene fades out, then returns.Sean and Robert are facing the firing squad and coughing from their last request, a cigarette. Robert: "Nasty habit."

Sean: "You mean smoking?"

Robert: "Firing squads."

Sean: "Yeah, we really ought to quit, you know that?"

Robert: "You're right, you know, straight after this incident, no one is ever putting me up against a wall again and using me as target practice."

Sean: "Oh yeah, promises, promises. I know you, next week, you'll be walking around with an apple on your head, calling everybody William Tell." (Two of the guards mumble something to one another, worrying Donely.) "We, we got troubles....we got troubles."

Robert: "What now?"

Sean: Our genial hosts seem to think that we're really not smokers.

Robert (coughing): "What ever gave them that idea?"

Colonel Ramos enters the room and is angry at seeing his prisoners still alive. Ramos: "I don't believe this!"

Sean: "Oh, the govenor's pardon finally came through? Thank you, Colonel Ramos..."

Ramos: "I just heard from one of my men. It seems Juan and Dr. Quartermaine are delayed at the cantina, still."

Sean: "This just isn't your day, is it?"

Ramos: "It's you, isn't it? You two are up to something."

Robert: "We're up to our necks in smoke."

Ramos: "No, these delays are not coincidental. It's part of your plan, whatever it is!"

Robert: "Man's as sharp as a tack."

Sean: "Yeah, we should've known we'd never be able to fool him."

Robert: "Might as well admit it."

Sean (choking): "Yeah, look, we'll level with you Colonel. You see, we're really hooked on cigarettes, and we smoked our last pack early this afternoon. This is the only way we could figure we could bum one."

Ramos: "You dare toy with me? Wait a minute, why are you still alive, anyway?"

Robert: "I was hoping he wouldn't notice that."

Sean: "Yeah." (Ramos orders the firing squad to procede.) "Could we finish our cigarettes first?" (Annoyed, Ramos slaps the cigarette out of Sean's mouth. Sean and Robert try to come up with another delay tactic while Ramos orders the squad to prepare to fire.) "Uh-oh, here we go again."

Robert: "Colonel, listen, please, just give us another few minutes. (Ramos orders the squad to aim.)

Sean: I know it doesn't mean much to you, but it means an eternity to us."

Robert (spitting out his cigarette): "Then we're gonna be out of your hair forever."

Sean: "Yeah, forever."

(Robert nudges Sean to look at the clock.) Sean: Yeah, yeah, I see it."

Robert: "H-hour has come and gone."

Sean: "If this is heaven, I want my money back."

Robert: "Well, we're still around, that means Anna must've diffused the bomb."

Sean: "Yeah, leaving us to die by firing squad."

Robert: "Ironic, isn't it?"

Sean: "I think it's a hell of a lot worse than that."

Robert: "We're not through yet."

Sean: "Why, you know something they don't?"

Robert: "Time's on our side. We'll just stall for a few more seconds, then all hell's gonna break loose."

Sean: "Yeah, and all of it aimed directly at us."

Robert: "Well, how hard can it be to slow things down just a bit longer?"

Ramos: "Senors, ready to die?"

Sean (desperate): "Slow him down a little more, will you?"

Robert: "Colonel, listen, do you have any idea the trouble you're gonna be in after killing an Australian and and American, especially the Australian?" (Unimpressed, Ramos continues with the execution.)

Sean: "Certainly impressed him."

Robert: "Don't hear you coming up with anything better."

Sean: "I'm saving it all for my autobiography."

Robert: "Write fast."

Ramos barks to the firing squad to aim their guns. Sean (to Robert): "Do you want me to translate?"

Robert: "Just duck."

Sean: "No, I'm not a duck. (To Ramos) "Colonel?"

Ramos: "What?"

Sean (nudging Robert): "Tell him..." (He nudges a confused Robert harder) "Will you tell him?"

Robert: "Colonel, listen, we have one more request."

Ramos: "No more cigarettes!"

Sean: "You want us to kill ourselves?"

Robert: "This is a matter of honor. Listen, a guy like you, with your military background would certainly understand this sort of thing."

Ramos: "There is no honor among spies."

Sean: "There's a hell of a lot of honor amongst the condemned sir."

Ramos: "Are you stalling? Are you afraid to die, Senors?"

Robert: "Us, afraid to die?"

Sean: "In a word....yeah."

Robert: "But since there's no escape, at least allow us to die with a certain amount of dignity."

Ramos: "Well, I am trying to accomodate you, and you are trying my patience."

Robert: "My last request, believe me Colonel... untie our hands."

Ramos: Why?

Robert: "Well, for the same...well, we'd do it to you, this is common courtesy."

Sean: "In fact, we'd even change places with you."

Robert: "Yeah."

Ramos: "Very well gentlemen." (He unties their hands.) "Your request will be granted. So where is your sense of humor now, gentlemen?"

Robert (whispering to Sean): "Any second now."

Sean: "Yeah, his fireworks or ours."

Robert: "Of course, all those explosives could've been duds."

(Ramos is telling the firing squad to aim their guns at the prisoners when a bomb goes off outside.) Ramos: "What the....?" (He and his men rush out to investigate) 

Robert: "Time to go." (He picks up a gun.)

Sean (picking up a gun): "It's been one hell of a show old buddy."

Robert: "Yeah, and now for the good part."  (He and Sean flee from the room)

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